The Fast and the Stupid
by The Parody King
Summary: Prepaire yourself... for something so stupid, you won't believe your eyes. This is a PARODY!Rated: K for bad spelling.
1. Start your demons

Auther's Notes: This story is a parody of bad fanfics and other things. Since so many fanfiction authers pointlessly bring in things from other films or anything else into there stories, I have decided to parody it. The parodies might be even stupider then most fanfics, though. Also the bad spelling and grammer in this story is also ment to parody bad fanfics. Even the the '( )' will be a parody.

Harry Potter was very happy, he was sixteen and that ment he could drive! (this story takes place instead of HBP, meaning Dombledore has NOT died) The Dursleys had let Harry get his lisense, so he could drive! _It's my turn to drive!_ sang inside Harry's stupid head as he got ready to drive Uncle Vernin's car. "I'm warning you, boy!" said Uncle Vernin hand Harry the keys to his car. "One scratch, and youl never win again!" "Win, sir?" asked Harry to uncle Virnin's ugly face. "Lazy fanfiction writter didn't fix his typo!" explained Uncle Virnen hastely. "_Live_ again" said Uncle Virnin. Harry still thought this threat didn't make much sense, but he didn't want Uncle vernin not to give him da car so he didn't push his temper cause that would be a bad idea caous Uncle vernin gets angrey really fast so he didn't push it because that wouldn't be cool and Harry was cool so he didn't push it because harry was smart and he wanted to drive the car and he thought he maybe in one of those long sentences that you may find in bad fanfictoin with bad gramr and silliiiiing. Uncle vernin gave Harry the keys and Harry jumped in the car like he was Neo from the Matrix (only not in slow-mow). He slamed the door and started the engine. He pulled all the switchs and started off. Harry stept on the accelerator, but he didn't pick up to well. When he got on the highway he was only going 25mph! "This car is junk!" Said Harry. "I need a new car!" So he drove back to vrinin and demaned a to buy a new car. "To it or I'll hex you! said Harry with a glair. "Fine! Fine!" said his ugly uncle with his ugly mustash that looked like ash. "Use my credit card!" "Cool!" said Harry. Before he drove to the car place he drove to the mall, because he had the Dursley's credit card so he could get what ever he wanted! He wnet to the clothing store and got a pair of jenes, a tee shirt witch showeda lot of Harry's chest, a gold chain around his neck, a sports cap that he wore backwerds couse he was awesome, basketball shoes, and a firebolt broom stick earing (he got his right ear persed earier that summer but had never gotten an earing to go withit) "I'm too sexy for my shirt!" sang harry, as hiphop music played in the backround. "TOo sexy for my shirt so sexy it herts!" Just then he saw someone else in the store as weel. A face, though he had never seen it before, he knew emetoitly. It was... MARY SUE! "Wow!" thought harry, he knew he loved he the instint he saw her, and she knew she loved him the instint she saw him!... ... But nether knew of each others feelings! (don't you just love tention?) "Nice pants." said Marry Sue, shyly. "Nice butt." said Harry. Wait, he hadn't ment to say that. "I, uh, mean, nice.." they imbraced and kissed and danced to "I've got the power!" together. Harry even did some mick jackson moves! When they left they had and arguement and left each other in tears. "Lazy auther!" muttered harry. Harry ate fries from mcdonalds and drove to the car place. He had completley forgotten about mary sue. "Uh, beeb beeb, beeb beeb, yea!" said harry to the way cool car dealer dude. "Sup?" said the way cool car dude in a way cool way. "I wanna fast car!" said harry. "Sure thing! Iv'e got just the thing!" said WCCD in a still cooler way. He flew harry over too some cars. "You can fly?" asked harry shocked. "Jetpacks the latest thing, Lightn' Man!" said WCCD eving cooler. Harry saw the car when he landed. It wasnt a coupe like harry wanted, it a way 4 door car. "The VW CTI" said WCCD (WCCD stands for Way cool car dude) coolly. "Itl' get you anyware in no time!" Harry thought the car didn't look very cool, but there was something he liked about the car, "looks cool" said harrie. "Biggest undestatement of the year!" said WCCD and he fliped out a digitle cell phone and marked a his calender on it really cooley! "Your really cool!" said harry impressed. "New biggest understate ment of the year!" said WCCD, marking his calender. He was so cool harry felt like dancing to "Lose yourself" but he knew dancing to music right now wouldn't be cool, and he wanted to seem as cool as ever in front of such coolness. "i'll take it!" said harry tosing him the credit card. "knw youd like it!" said WCCD catching the card without any trouble and without moving anything but his right hand slightly to catch it. He then threw harry the keys to the VW. Harry didn't catch them but he didn't care, all he wanted was to drive his knew car. He got his credit card back and flew on his firebolt into his car. He then made the fire bolt return to his house using magic. "Richess!" said WCCD giving a thumbs up. For since he was so cool, he knw all about magic and all that jazz. Harry turned one the ignition and drove offf. Harry went 40mph on the highway instintly. "You should be going faster!" said a voice. There, setting next to him was a little toy who had a sort of mean but very cool voice and look. Harry, when he looked into his eyes, was pessest. "Yes, master!" said Harry and went 60mph. Harry had made friends with his fast!


	2. 2 Fast 2 Stupid

"Gahhhhhhhh!" said Harry as he steped compltely on the accelerator! "Woooooooooooo-Hoooooooooooo!" he shouted as he went 80mph. "Wooooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooo!"! "Your doing well!" said the demin like toy thing that had poissessed him. "Speed is the key to the 21th centory! To keep up with the fast paced life-style, you must go fast literaly, too!"

"Yes, master!" said harry as he went 120 miles per hour! "Wooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooooooo!" He drove back to the Dursley's and parked the way cool car. He took the "Fast Spirit" inside with him. "Where's the car?!" asked ugly uncle vernin the instant he got in. "Outside." said hairy. "Don't your car! My car!" "Still At the car place" said harrie. "Anyway, I have to back to hogworts today!" "How are you suppost to take your car on the bloody tracks?!" asked Dombledore. "Domebledor?!?!" said harry, alarmed. "Lazy fanfiction writter typed the wrong name!" Said uncle virnen hastley. "The auther ment me, you idiot!" "Oh." said hair-e. Harry hadn't thought what to do with the car. "I could leave it here." said Harry, but he felt the glair of the eyes of the fast demin on him. "And what's that thing?!" asked Uncle Virnen, pointing to the Fast Spirit. "A Mcdonald's toy?!" "No." said harry, "I mean, uh, anyway. I can drive my car along the tracks of the the train to get to hogwarts." "Fine!" said Uncle Vernin, AKA Uncle Ugly. "Great Ill ust get my stuff and leave." said harrry, and died so. Before harry left to the car with his Fast, Unle Vernin demanded his card back. "Shit!" said harry, because he could have bought SO much if vernin had forgotten to take it back. He handed Uncle Vernin the MasterCard, and afterwerds got in his car. "Clothing at GAP; $70" said Harry. "Car at car dealer; $35,000. Getting possessed by an evil speed demin; Priceless!" When harry gotto the train station the train had already left. "Time to play 'Chase the Train'!" said Fast. (The fast demin/evil spirit will now be known as just fast) Harry reved up the Volds Wagon GTI Mark Five and drove on the train tracks really fast! Harry had gotten each set of weels on the track itself so the ride was smoove. Somewhere during the trip, harry cought up the the train. "Pass the train!" orderd Fast. "There's no room." said harry for they were going over a cliff and if harry drifted he would fall off. Harry some how got past the train without falling, though. "Lazy fanfiction auther!" grald Fast. When they got there harry was in plenty of time for the feast. He said hello to Ron and Hemione and sat down and began eating the feast. The food on the hogwarts griffindor table included, but wasn't limited to: Chicken, chicken wing, chicken strips, chicken fingers, chicken cort on bler, chicken mcnuggets, chicken nuggets, chicken sandwitchs, beef, fruit, vegies, turkey, ham, bacon, pork, baloney, sandwitchs of all shape and size, beer, wine, butter beer, pizza, champain, pizza of all shaped and sizes and kinds with all kinds of toping, pumpkin juice, apple cider, coffees of all kinds, sugar, milk, cow milk, goat milk, dragon milk, cheese, salad, everything from mcdonalds, stuffed hipogriff, all kinds of magicle foods that make you do funny things, candy, chocolet, gum, wonka bars, other copyrighted movie foods, penguin on a stick, birthday cakes, wedding cakes, little cakes shaped like the star ship enterpirse, lots of other stupid things witch the auther wants to mention for no good reason, and lots, lots more! Harry tried some of everything and lots of a lot of things! "So, how was your summer?" asked Ron, who had hair so red it looked like his head was on fire only it wasnt really one fire. "Boooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrring!" Said harry "Untill the end when I got a way cool car!" "What'sa car" asked ron. "You don't know what a car is?" "No." said ron, "Nor do i care what a car is." "If you don't know what a car is or care what a car is then I see now reason for us to be friends." said harry, folding his arms. "Fine!" said ron. The two avoided each other for the rest of the feast. "Atenion, all!" said dombledor. "It's time to sort the newbies!" "I'll call da names!" said Maconigle undignifidely. "Mary Sue." MAry sue walked up and had the hat placed on. Harry just then rememberd Mary Sue, joy filled inside him, he LOVED mary sue. Tears of love, joy, and sadness filled his eye. "Griffendor, baby!" shouted the sorting hat. For the sorting hat was also in love with Mary Sue. Harry was worried there would be a love triangle between himself, mary sue, and the sorting hat. But he would worry about that later. MS (Mary Sue) joined the griffendor table and sat next to harry. "Mad eye Moody." said Magonicle. (In this fanfiction, Mad eye Mopdy didn't do anything he did in the books. In this version Mad eye Moody is only 11 years old. He still has the eye, thouge.) Mad eye moody crambled up and put the hat on. "Griffindor!" shouted the hat. "Rie-chiss!" gral'd Moody. "Ginny Chang." said megonigle. She was Cho Chang's little sister and would serve as a love intressed for harry, but he didn't know that at the time. "Griffindore!" shouted the sorting hat. "George Washington." said Megonigle. George Washington had really been alive all these years because of magic and he was now looking forward to learning all about magic. "Good day!" said George Washington to the sorting hat. "Griffindore!" shouted the sorting hat predictably. "Dracula Malfow" said Magonicle. Dracula Malfow was Draco Malfoy's little brother. And Dracula Malfow was evil and wanted to kill harry potter! But nobody, not even his brother knew it. "This year" said Dombledore "The defense against the dark arts will be tought by The Phantom of the Opera!" said Dombledore. "No!" said harry, "EVERY fanfiction brings in the phantom of the opera." "I must ask for all of you" sang the Phantom "To pay your strict attention to every word I say, because I will not repeat them, write them down, write them down, write them down, I will teach you to fight hexes, and teach you how to vanish with hexs, I will come up with new ways, to creat flowers in the month of may, and on top of all things, I will teach you how to sing!" "That song sure had crapy lirics!" said Harry. "I like him!" said Hermione. Harry and Ron exchanged puzzled looks, for they and the auther had forgotten that they had stoped being friends. "Now, everyone to bed!" said Dombledore. Harry went to bed thinking about his car. He wished the Hogworts grounds were long enough for harry to speed accross. There was no where for harry to drive his car. Just then he saw fast glairing at him, "Right!" thought Harry "The path in the Drak Forrest! That path went on for miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles,and miles, and miles, and miles,and miles, and miles, and miles,and miles, and miles, and miles,and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles!" "But wait" said harry out loud, "The Dark Forrest is dangres!" "My fast," said Fast "Thinks being scared of forrests is for the weak!" Harry nodded and feched his invisability cload. He was going to drive there tonight!


	3. Fast: The 3rd Installment

Harry picked up Fast and put the invisability cloak on. He then creaped quitly out of the boy's dormitory and quitly down the stairs. He pushed open the dore. "Ah, who's there?!" said the sleepy fat ugly stupid women in the picture. "A ghost!" said harry. "Why, the heck, can't I see you, then?" said the no longer sleepy but still fat ugly stupid women in the picture. "I can always see ghosts, even if they are see threw." Said FU- "Wait!" said harry to the bad fanfiction auther. "What were you just spelling??" "Just the abrifieations to 'Fat Ugly Stupid Women in Picture.'" said the bad fanfiction auther inosintly. "Oh" said harry. "Thew! This fanfiction is only rated T, so for now on we're going to have a five second delay, just in case. Anyway, get back to your bad fanfiction writting." "With pleasure" said the bad fanficiton writter. "But it's not bad fanfiction. This stuff is "Citizen Kane" on paper! Anyway, back to the story." "I can always see ghosts, even if they are see threw." said FUSWIP (short for fat ugly srupid women in picture). "I uh," said harry. "Am an invisable ghost!" "No such crappin thing!" said FUSWIP. "Go back to sleep!" said harry. The fat lady did so. Harry couldn't belive his luck. He ran down the stairs, but fell and broke his noise, "Apeski!" said harry, his noise was fixed but a pair of tiny snow skis appeared stuck to his noise. Harry was still working on his magic. "Shit!" said harry, trying to pull off the skis. "Worry about them later!" said Fast. "Your right!" said Harrry. All harry could now think about was driving his car. He ran out of the hogwarts doors and into the night. The moon was out. "This will be kool!" said harry. He unlocked his car with his way cool remote and jumped in the driver's seat. He turned on the car and wnet full speed. "The power! The power!" shouted Fast. Harry drove like super fastly to the dark forrest. "It's time!" said harry, pulling on a pair of sun glasss. "Let's ride!" he stept on the pedel and drove into the woods, soon the forrest got darker and darker untill harry could see nothing in front of him. "Better turn on the head lights!" said harry, flipping them on. He took off his sun glass so he could see still more. Just then something ran in front of the car. Harry stept on the breaks the car stopped. The air bags went off, though. "Gah!" said Harry. He couldn't see anything in front of him but the air bags. _POP!_ something had poped his airbag. Harry turned his head and saw... a warewolf! "Lo-lo-Loopin?" asked Harry, scared. "I am no loopin'!" said the warewolf. "I am Greyback, the terrifying!" (Even though this story is instead of Half-Blood Prince, it still has Greyback!) "Ggggaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" scramed Harry. "Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, yourself, buddy!" Said Greyback. Harry paused. "Why did you call me "buddy"?" asked Harry. "Sarcasim or something, you idiot!" said Greyback. Harry paused again. "How are you talking?" asked Harry. "No idea" said Greyback. "Anyway, I'm going to eat and kill you!" "Step on it!" said Fast. "Let's see how well this creature can run!" "Good idea!" said Harry. Harry drove very fast and nether Harry nor Fast saw Greyback. "I guess we out run him!" said Harry. Greyback was, of corse, really on the roof of the car, looming down at Harry, just out of Harry's sight. There was a heart beating sound effect as Harry turned arouned in slow-motion. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" Screamed Harry once the heart beating sound effect and the slow-mow had ended. Harry and Greyback had an enormis fight in the car witch ended with Harry strangling Grayback with the emerginsy brake witch killed him. "They bring in Grayback just to kill him!" said Fast. "Lazy fanfiction auther!" Harry and Fast continued driving for a while, but then they all of a sudden stopped. The air bags went off again. "What happened?" asked Harry deflating the air bags. "Did we run into some invisable shiled like in star-treck?!" But just then he felt something, it was sticky, and very unpleasent. "Spiders" Harry whisperd. Yes, they had ran into the spider pit. Harry stept onto the pedal but they couldn't move. "Yo!" said Aragog. (WHo DIDN'T die!) "What are you doing here?" "We just accidently drove-" said Harry but just then Aragog interupted him. "Look, I don't care about the whole enchalata why your here." said Aragog. "I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse!" "Witch is?" said Harry. "Dying, stupid!" said Aragog. "Your time has come! The boy who lived won't live so long, youl die right after I sing my song!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Screamed Harry, terrifyed. "Don't sing a song!" Aragog didn't listen and sang anyway. But Harry honked so much, he didn't here much of the song. All he heard was: "Your time has come!" and "Lightnin' bolt guy, it's time to die!" and "Dig it, dadyo!". When Aragog was done singing, he ran twords them with his army of spiders. "No!" scramed Harry. "Who could fight giant spiders?!" just then Aragog was hit by a web. There, in the distance, was Spider-Man! "Of corse! Spider-Man!" shouted Harry. _Spider-Man, Spider-Man!_ played as Spidy fought hundreds of spiders. _Frendy naberhood Spider-Man! He'll flush arachilas down the can! Look out, here comes the Spider-Man!_ "Hurray!" shouted Harry. When Spidey was done tying spiders up in there own webs, he flew off. "It seems we'rr having one pointless scene after another!" said Fast. Harry continued driving exstreamly fast! 70mph, then 80mph, then 100mph, then 120mph, then 150mph! "Woooooooooooooooooo-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Harry. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Harrry again. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"! When they had been going this speed for a while, Harry noticed something. "Hey... Isn't that? ... it couldn't be!" said Harry. He stoped the car to see. The air bags went off. "To heck with these air bags!" said Fast. Harry deflated them and looked. There, was Snape talking to someone. "I've seen it with my own eyes!" said Snape to the person. "Then we must make haste!" said a voice Harry could never forget. A high pitched cold voice. A voice that sounded so evil, so terrible, so horrible. It was... Dobby the House Elf. "What can we do, my master?" asked Snape. "We can kill him, so we can kill him!" said Dobby. "Why can't you just address all of your "hims" by name?" asked Snape. "Because the fanfiction won't let us know who they are yet." explained Dobby, "And if you ever question Dobby again, Dobby will kill you!" Snape gulped. "Yes, master." he said. "Dobby likes being called that now!" said Dobby. "But Master, how can we kill the first him?" Dobby paused. "We could bring in him." he said. "Gasp! Not him!" said Snape. "Yes, him!" said Dobby. "But how do we get him to work with us?" asked Snape. "By geting her." said Dobby. "How to we get her?" asked Snape. "By kid-naping her." said Dobby. "But how to we kid nap her?" asked Snape. "By using it." said Dobby. The two nodded and walked off. Once they were gone Harry spun the wheele and drove at super speed back to hogwarts. Harry had to tell Dombledore about this!


	4. 4 the sake of being Fast

Harry drove back at super fast speed "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Harry "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" When harry got back he ran up the stairs and to the HeadMaster's office. Harry tried to think of what the password might be. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" said Harry. "M&Ms?" he asked. No reply. "Hershy Bars?" still no reply. "Skittles? Sherbert? Lemon drops? Milkey ways? Other candies? Birty Bots? Candied house elfes? Griffen on a rock?" No reply. "Gold plated crap?" asked Harry, joking. The phoenix let him in. "Head master!" shouted Harry, running up to where Dombledore was sitting, which was in a seat at his desk. "What is it, Hagred?" asked Dombledore. "It's me," said Harry, "Harry Potter." "What is it?" asked Dombledore. "It's this." said Harry "I heard that Dobby the House Elf and Snape are planning on killing some people here." "Fasanating" said Dombledore. "There both evil." said Harry. "_Hic_" was all Dombledore said. "Headmaster?" asked Harry. Dombledore looked behind him "Where?!" Domble dore asked.

Harry: Dombledore, have you been drinking?

Dombledore: Who's dombleydore?

Harry: How come our writting format is now like an RPG?

Dombledore: Lazy auther!

Harry: Well, headmaster, what should we do about Snape and Dobby?

Dombledore: Doesn't say anything

Harry: Headmaster?

Dombledore: Singing _If I am the head master, tell me Britney is mine, BABY HIT ME ONE MORE TIME!_

Harry: Uh, Headmaster, would you like some black coffee?

Dombledore: Me know think so.

Harry: Pulls out wand I'll make you some.

Dombledore: Takes wand What's dis?

"Give it back!" said Harry, relizing he was back in normle writting format. "NO!" said Dombledore "I want to see what it can do!" Dombledore waved the wand, and blew up a book shelf. "COOL!" said Dombledore. Harry grabed the wand back. "Let me make you some coffee."

Dombledore: I don't want coffee, thank yoooooooooooooouuuuuu! _HIC!_

Harry: Relizis he's back in the movie script writting format NOOOOOOOOO!

Dombledore: Singing _Go, go, baby, GO-O! _WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Beer is refreshing! I want more! Grabs another bottle and throws it at the wall WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! _Yo-ho! Yo-ho! a wizerds life for me! We creat candle abrals, we say 'Avata Kadavra', drink up me harties, YO-HO! We drink pumkin joice, we wear ropes and something that rimes drink uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaartiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeesssssss YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

"Cofeesesdestarbucksde-suger-cream+espresso-milk+hoto!" said harry, pointing his wand back at an emty cup. Coffee filed in it but it over flowd. "Hey!" said Harry "We're back in normle writting formatt!" Harry gave the coffee to dombledore. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Thanks! Me no drink! Cuse IMMMMMMMMMMMMM DRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! YOU BITCH!" said Dombledore. "I'm a bastered!" said Harry, indignitley, "Not a bitch." "Whatever!" said Dombledore, ripping apart pantings. "Gahhhhhhhh!" said Fienies Back, running into a Hermione and Snape remance fic. "Get your ass out of my office!" said dombledore drunkly. "But, what about Dobby and Snape" said Harry. "I don't belive you!" said a drunk dombledore. Harry left Dombledore's offece. And went back to bed. How come no one belived him? "No one ever understands a misunderstood teen like me!" said Harry, crying. "I'm so misunderstood! No one understands me! Adults have no idea what it's like to be a teen!" said Harry, crying still more. "I'm so mis under stood!" saID HARRy crying still more. "Poor me!" said harry, patting his head. "Poooooooooor meeeeeee!!!" said harry crying still more. Harry cried still more and cried himself to sleep. He was SO misunderstood.

Harry woke up. He went down to breakfast. "Hello!" said a voice. Harry turned around to see the Terminator. "Time to die!" Said the Terminator in his Arnold Shorzihager/Governor type voice. The Terminator blew up everyone but Harry. Even Ron, Hagred, Hermione, Dombledore, Cho, Ginny, Mary Sue, and eveyone else but Harry died. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Harry.

Harry woke up. "Thew!" said Harry, "It was just a dream!" Just then he noticed his arm was made of metel. _He_ had become the Terminator. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Harry.

Harry woke up. This time for real. "Thew, it was all just a dream!" Said Harry. he went downstars eat brakefest n went to class room defess agan drk art and with extreamly bad spelling. After Harry had eaten breakfast, he went to the defense against the dark arts class. Everyone was there except the Phantom. Then all of the candles burned out and the Phantom swooped down into the class room while a pipe organ played his theme music. Then, the Phantom began to sing in tune to the Phantom of the Opera theme. The Phantom sang this:

_Welcome children,_

_Welcome Class._

_The Phantom of the Opera_

_Will teach you, at last!_

_I will teach you_

_All sorts of things_

_The Unforgivable curses_

_And other dark things_

_The Phaaaaaaaaaaaantom of the Opera is here_

_And that's why I sing_

_Evil lives everywhere_

_In me and you_

_But where it thrives the most_

_Is in magic, it's true!_

_The Phaaaaaaaaantom of the Opera is here_

_So listen to me not you!_

_I am the Phantom_

_Of the Opera_

_I will teach you_

_How to fight Avata Kadavra_

_I will teach you_

_How to fight you know who himself_

_All I ask of you_

_Is to read whats on those shelfs_

_The Phaaaaaaaaaaantom of the Opera is cool_

_And his movie is, tooooo!_

"Break it down!" shouted the Phantom, busting some way cool moves in tune to his way cool music. All of the class did the same. "Shake it, Baby! Shake it!" shouted George Washington, snapping his fingers and putting on sun glass'. "Freedom rocks, man!". The way cool music sadly avenchlely ended. "Who's up for exstream sports?!" asked the Phantom, picking up a skate board. The entire class agreed and they spent the reast of there class doing exstream sports in the Hogwarts grounds. And riding broom sticks. When class was over no one could shut up about how cool it was! "That was SO awesome!" said Harry, talking like an American. "I know," said Ron, "It was like, totley, out of this world!" Harry and Ron spent the rest of the day doing nothing. Little did they know that the lazy fanfiction auther didn't update the story after this.


End file.
